House-Hunting FAIL

So, I need a little bit of advice.

Well, erm, that is to say… my fiance and I do. :-/

As I previously posted, my fiance and I finally have the money to rent a house. We’re planning on paying deposit, first month’s rent and 3-5 more months of rent. We have a decent amount of money, especially since my fiance just got his financial aid from his university.

Buuuuut~ apparently that’s not good enough. I’m a stay-at-home mom with minimal money living off of the government; I’ve said a few times that I am and I didn’t think it was such a big deal. I mean, almost everybody in the county I’m living in seems to be on some sort of government program. Of course, there are those people who aren’t that overreact, or those people from out of state or a different county that look down upon me. It’s kind of blah, but that’s different.

Well, actually, even the people on certain governmant programs look down upon it, but I’m getting off topic.

Point is, I didn’t think it too unusual, too big of a deal, until today.

My fiance and I went to see a house we were thinking about renting today. The ad sounded good and we were hopeful. Well, things aren’t always as they seem. We got to the house (it was in a different county) and he went in to announce that we had arrived and to make sure that we could bring in the children; they said we could, so he came back and he helped me round up the little ones and we all went in.

It was a woman landlord, first off. No, I’m not sexist (obviously – I’m a female too, lol), but I will admit to expecting a man to be the landlord. I’ve never really met a female one in my experience. First time for everything, I guess. Anyway, she seemed very friendly and talkative, cooing on about the kids. Then she started asking questions, though it was expected as we were there about the house she was still fixing up.

She asked about our income, how we expected to pay. My fiance told her point-blank that we’d pay her up-front through February and when February came around he’d pay her the other half up-front. I had already replied about my income. What we didn’t expect, and was kind of rude of her actually, was her to turn to me after my fiance spoke to her and say “Well you don’t get enough per month to pay for rent and utilities.”

Honestly. My jaw dropped. I was soooo offended. It was like she just blew off what my fiance said, like she didn’t believe him.

I replied to her though. I told her, once again, how much I got per month. She just seemed to look at me with this false innocent look and then say, almost like she knew that I was offended and didn’t care – false sense of innocence again – “Oh, so you’re on foodstamps?”

I nodded my head at her and told her that “Yes, I am” and told her of the other various government programs I’m on.

She didn’t seem to look too highly upon me or act as friendly with either me or my fiance after that brief interlude. I just can’t figure it out.

The thing is, though, while the house in general is nice, there are sooooo many things that she so obviously has no idea about.

I’m not a judgmental person by any means. That’s not me bragging, that’s me repeating what other people have told me about myself and finally admitting it outloud (figuratively speaking). I try to think the best of people, give second chances and all that jazz that most people take for granted and think is lacking in the world. Well, let’s face it, I grew up with my grandparents so I’m a little old school, so to speak.

Anyways.

This lady-landlord – Donnie, I think her name was – was REpainting every room, along with painting the stairs. As my fiance and I were coming into the house she had just finished painting the stairs: black. She painted the stairs black. That’s HUGE hazard! You can’t see stairs in the dark if they’re painted black! I mean, seriously?

And she was painting every room a different color. A different BOLD color. The living room had a deep burgundy ceiling and the room off of it, I think it was supposed to be some sort of office, had a Harley Davidson theme: it was bright orange with a stretch of “Harley Davidson” paneling running across the midline. The bathroom was a deep, bright blue, themed ocean. The kitchen was basically connected to the living room, seperated by a bar only, and had black and white tile and yellow paint.

I really don’t think she knew what she was doing.

My fiance and I have discussed it and though we figure she’s not going to choose us because she doesn’t “like us”, it’s probably better that way. She was very unprofessional and she had no idea what she was doing. She had us write our information on INDEX CARDS for crying out loud! I don’t think we would have even signed contracts if we’d gotten it. Either way, we won’t know until sometime next week, though we’re already looking in to other places.

But back to my ORIGINAL dilemma that I never really addressed. Is it really that big of a deal for him to not have a job even though he has proof of his income as do I to mine? According to the fair housing act, it’s discrimination and illegal, but I guess if we really don’t have proof (even though we technically do). It’s just kind of blah. One place we looked at wouldn’t even LOOK at us because my fiance was a full-time student and required a co-signer and was going to up our rent if we “met their standards”. How messed up is that?

I don’t know. Things are going a bit downhill now. I wish things would look up for once.

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Just a thought

I was up in bed thinking about life, something that most people do while they’re trying to go to sleep I assume, and something popped into my head.

I was mentally having this conversation with my aunt (about my other aunt, her sister). I don’t remember the specifics, but I came to this conclusion:


People don’t have to like what you do for you to be happy; it’s your life. Just like you don’t have to like what they do for them to be happy; it’s their life.

It was just a thought

Just a little relationship advice.

Overthinking is BAD.

You end up paranoid and thinking things about your significant other that are totally untrue. You end up thinking he or she is cheating on you, talking bad about you behind your back, that he or she doesn’t love you, wants to leave you, is bored with you or some sort of complaint.

When most of the time, in reality, it’s the exact opposite.

Your significant other is probably asking one of your close friends advice on what to get you, or praising you in some way: saying how happy he/she is with you.

All your overthinking is, is your insecurities. Point-blank: if you’re insecure about something, ask your significant other about it and get it out in the open; be honest about it. Believe me, in the end, it helps LOADS. If he/she is cheating on you, talking bad about you behind your back, bored with you, etc… then your particular significant other more than likely doesn’t deserve you and you can do better.

Believe me. I learned the hard way.

Now, though, I have (in my mind) the perfect man. Yes, I still have my insecurities, but we talk about them.

Even if you’re shy or scared, communication is key in a relationship. ❤

Dear Self,

I wish to tell you so many things that you already know. Please listen, for even though you might not understand my advice now and the reasons I am giving it to you, it will come in handy to you. Your heart will not be broken and so many things will not go wrong.

Do not make rash decisions – they will come back to bite you in the butt and you will hate it. Believe me, I know. You’ve probably heard from many members of your family by now that you should stand up for yourself, but that doesn’t mean doing the first thing that you think of; most of the time it is the wrong decision.

However, you should stand up for yourself. Don’t let others push you around and do not always believe what they say. People lie. There will always be someone who will try to take advantage of you, no matter how trusting you may be. So be cautious when you choose your friends. They will make up how you go through school and, further than that, life.

There is a saying: “It’s better to have one friend that you can trust with your life than ten with whom you barely know.”

Let that be a sort of guide as you go through your middle to high school years. Do not be someone that you are not – do things that you actually like and don’t give in to peer pressure. Be assertive and stand up for yourself when others try and take advantage of you or make fun of you.

In the process, though, do not lose who you are. Do not shove all of your emotions to the pits of your heart and lock them away. If you do that, you will not know who you are or what you want. You will just confuse yourself even more than you need to.

When something in your life goes wrong, face it head on. Don’t run away in fear of your problems or what lies ahead. Things will always go wrong, but there is no need to worry! Help will always come in some form or another; you just have to know where to look.

Always open your eyes to new things. You should not limit yourself to just one “something” or another.  While you may not always understand what another person is saying, or what he or she means, you should try to see it from their perspective. While it may seem confusing or stupid to you, if you look through their eyes, it could make all the difference.

Always try hard at what you do and never do anything by half. You will do more that way, and get places faster.  I am sure, though, that someone has told you that.

Do not believe what your family says about your Mother. I know what they have said and I have heard things that they do not want you to hear. You should make your own judgments on her, but do not be harsh, for in the future she may be the only person you have to turn to.

Never ever, though, make the mistake of forsaking your morals. You will want to and you will have the chance numerous times but that does not make it right.

I know that your family is prejudiced against many ways of life and many people; you are not. Do not let your fear of being accepted by them stand in the way of being who you are. That, alone, will change your future.

Oh, young one, I hope you take everything to heart. I really do. Though some things may be vague and some of the things that I have said you may not need to remember until years to come, I hope you heed my advice. It will all help you in the end.

Good luck.

Always and forever,
You