Since Last Month!

Omg, it’s been so long since I’ve updated anything on here! I can’t blame it completely on being busy, but the majority… yeah, I have been. With the holidays just passing and my aunt moving in with my fiance and I, plus the extreme cold weather passing through, so everything’s been quite hectic.

Oh, and the wedding that I was in. That happened in between Christmas and New Year’s. Lovely, lovely.

So! Let’s start off, shall we? It seems we have quite a lot to cover. 😉

Christmas was different. Didn’t really know what was going on until about two days beforehand; it was really crazy. My stepdad got all angry because I told my mom to tell him that if he couldn’t accept the fact that she wanted to be with her family on Christmas then he didn’t have to come. He got p*ssed, there was some yelling involved, and he didn’t come. My mom and brothers did, though. It was much more fun of a day than I expected it to be.

My aunt helped cook Christmas dinner, as did my fiance. I made chicken and noodles. There was some squabble over use of the kitchen. There’s some sort of tension over the kitchen. My aunt’s always been the one in the kitchen and, since I’ve been with him, my fiance has always been the one in the kitchen – kind of a switch of perceived gender roles, which we have no objection to, by the way. It’s weird though. Every time my fiance just takes a step into the kitchen, in our own home, my aunt goes in there as well even if she has no reason to be in there. She’ll start talking to my fiance, offering advice (“why don’t you do this?” “why don’t you add that?” “I normally do such n’ such”) and it drives both me and my fiance bonkers, because I normally have to intercede in some way. Cause, y’see, we don’t have a larger kitchen so more than one person being in the kitchen at the same time, especially if the 2nd person has no reason of being in there, causes extreme problems. My fiance is to the point that he’d rather be at work, out of the house, just in general away from my aunt, than at home.

For example: on New Year’s Eve, he had to work the next morning, a 12-hour shift, and so when he got home that evening he brought snacks, champagne, and general stuff for a night in for the two of us. My aunt immediately got on his case: “Well I’ve got that” “You can use this instead” and it drove him absolutely crazy. He’d had a good day at work, an extremely good day at work, and – the way he told me – he didn’t want to come home and her voice be the first thing he hears cause it just ruined it for him.

We ended up going out that night. We ate, drank, stayed out and had some fun. We came home before it turned into 2014. The first thing we did when we came home was put the children to bed then locked ourselves in our bedroom, drank the champagne, ate chips and salsa, and watched movies on the TV we have in our room cause we’re awesome like that. LOL!

I just feel bad. My aunt’s supposed to be moving out and she’s going on living here two months. She was supposed to have moved out near a month ago. I love her, but I hope she doesn’t secretly hope to move in full-time with me. We just don’t have the space. She’s not even paying any sort of rent or bills while living here and she thinks that she’s entitled to everything! So yes, she’s starting to drive me nuts too. I love her, but just like when I was younger, I’m not sure how long I can stand living with her.

Changing topics: the wedding was absolutely beautiful. I had no idea, though, that churches hung the triquatra. I thought it was a Pagan symbol, so I’m thoroughly confused. The Methodist church my best friend got married in still had their Christmas decorations up and on the tree was several triquatras. If someone could explain that to me, I would greatly appreciate it. My fiance, who is well-versed in the Pagan religion, many religions in fact, had no answer.

The batchelorette party was the night before, but I’m very proud of myself as I did not get as sloshed as most people would have expected. I had lots of fun though. We held the party at the groom’s mother’s house, which may seem odd, but if you knew all of us… well, it’s really not that odd, to be quite honest. We played many games, drank till the sun came up, ate chips and dip, pranced around in nightgowns and watched baby videos. It was awesome.

Oh, and can’t forget the guy that hung out with us. One of the other bridesmaid’s, that I don’t really know, boyfriend; he even pranced around in a nightgown with us! It was awesome! Especially the part where he changed in front of us! Does that mean we had our own personal stripper??? LOL!

Though the craziest part about the time surrounding the wedding was the fact the majority of my time was spent with my fiance’s ex who happens to be a close friend of my best friend who was getting married. Said ex was driving me and my best friend around everywhere. It was freaky. Then, y’know, when my fiance showed up at the reception (because he had to work and wasn’t able to make it to the ceremony) she gave him the evil eye… and me, for that matter. Total evilness. She avoided both of us completely but sat herself in the perfect position so that all she had to do was look up and she’d be able to see us and, well, glare. Completely creeped me out. Gah.

Lemme tell ya though, the snow storm’s been fun. The polar vortex or whatever I’ve heard it been called. I’m totally snowed in. We have a total of around 12 inches. Every one on my facebook newsfeed was saying “oh, we’ll only get around 2-3 inches, they’ve said this’ll happen before and it didn’t”. Well hey, it happened. Dumb*ss. I kinda trust the weather channel. I’m not talking local weather channel; I’m talking national weather service. I get daily updates. Heck yeah. My oldest still isn’t back in school cause of the storm and I don’t expect the school to open until, at the earliest, next week. What’s sucky is that all of this means that school is going to go even further into June because on the norm, without the make-up snow days, school goes into June. Fun, fun, fun. :-/

But on the upside of everything, my fiance and I finally might have enough for our wedding in… duh dun duhn!… JUNE! Wish us luck! 🙂


Update? ;) Lol

So it’s totally been awhile but things have been uber hectic around here. I thought everyone (if anyone is still reading this, lol) deserved a brief update, at least, to know that I’m still alive! 😉

Basically, since Thanksgiving, hell’s been let loose in the general area. I have a basic civil war going on in my family and I’m stuck in the middle. Gotta love it. Right now I’m housing one of my aunt’s because she was kicked out of another family member’s house because they were just “sick and tired of her shit” and I’m the only one who is willing to listen to my aunt and let her live with me. Can you see just how nice my family is?

Plus, y’know, my house is being worked on, foundation and electricity-wise, and so my electricity bill jump sky-high from last month. Which I can’t afford at all. My food stamps are dropping by over $50 and I can’t afford that either. I’ve had to cancel 2 doctor’s appointments for my children because I can’t afford the gas mileage to take them because money is so tight this month. I hate this. I hate it all. I’m trying so hard, and so is my fiance, but nothing we’re doing is helping.

The only good news that I have is from my oldest child’s teacher who called this morning around noon and said that one of the upper grades does a project every year and chooses a family to get presents for and my child’s teacher thought of us. And she is giving us pull-ups from another mom in my child’s class. I’m so, so grateful. I don’t know what I’d do without little things like that.

Things are slowly looking up. Just hope for more good news in the future. 🙂

I think too much… I think

So, mild scare today.

My ex decided to ask his “friends” for a ride to come and pick up my kids for his weekly visitation. What’s ironic about this is that this past Sunday he gave me full permission to keep all three little ones through the holiday, no questions asked. In fact, all he did was glance at the calendar, then say “OK”. Whereas last year he fought with me so hard about the Christmas hols, and all I asked for specifically was Christmas Day.

Just a little tidbit: I found out because one of my closer friends works with him, and for some reason, my ex still thinks he’s his friend too. Either way, my friend – who is a male, by the way – told me on his lunch break what happened; my ex asked him for a ride and my friend declined.

So weird. I was baffled by my ex’s behavior. If he had changed his mind and decided to come and get the children today, he should have told me,but he didn’t. Which is just wrong, in my opinion.

What I don’t get, though, were his motivations.

Why was he basically planning on coming over to my place, unannounced, and taking the babies? Yes, I know that I cannot deny him his parental rights set by the court and I would have to hand over my children to him for his weekly visitation (which would suck hardcore). I just don’t get why he wouldn’t tell me. He’s been relatively civil, if a bit vague, ever since the divorce got finalized and he got everything he freaking wanted.

The only thing that I can think of, and I hate to say this because I’m normally not a vindictive person at all, but my ex currently thinks (to my knowledge) that DCS/CPS is investigating me as much as they are him, so he probably wanted to pounce on me and catch me “not taking care of the kids” or with my home a mess.

Thing is, I’m not like him. I feed my children. I change their diapers regularly. I clothe and bathe them. They’re never dirty. They never smell like urine and feces. My floors don’t get dirty to the point where the tile is black and it’s supposed to be white. My home doesn’t, and never has, smelled like urine. (Poo, a couple of times, but that was directly after changing a poopy diaper – and it was only that room. Every parent can attest to that! Lol!)

I don’t know what he was looking for. I don’t know what he was aiming for. I honestly think he is losing his mind. Or is finally coming to the conclusion of what he is losing in his life and is… breaking. I almost feel sorry for him, but then I remember how he treated me and has continued to treat my children and I think “He brought this upon himself”; because all of his friends, all of his family,even me, tried to prevent this (though we definitely didn’t see THIS coming), and my ex never listened. He’s too stubborn, too hard-headed, and too self-absorbed to see outside the little world of gaming and computers that he’s created for himself.

That’s why I feel sorry for him. Because in the end, he’s going to be a very, very lonely person and he will have no one but himself to blame. Everyone tried to help him and he didn’t see that. He only thought we were trying to hurt him and blame him for something that “he could never do”.

I hope one day he grows up, so to speak, and learns that not everybody is wrong, and not everything he does is right. Nobody deserves to go through what he is going through, no matter how horrible a person they have been. He just needs to learn the right lessons in life.

And, of course, take the lessons to heart. ❤