Never Woulda Guessed

I’m excited about this. I have to post it.

I went to court earlier this week. I was so nervous. It was against my ex; I was suing him for full custody, back support, and to raise the child support that I’m supposed to be getting. I was afraid of the things he could say; even though I knew I had the advantage I was afraid he would lie about something. Or exaggerate. Anything. I was afraid. Nervous to a worrisome extent.

Then I got to the courthouse with my fiance and a couple friends, meeting my lawyer there 30 minutes before everything started. My lawyer and I discussed everything while my friends kept a look out for my ex, who hadn’t arrived yet. Occasionally they were asked questions too, but that wasn’t a big deal.

The big deal was that by the time court was due to start my ex had not shown up. We deduced that he wasn’t going to.

After vigorous questioning by my lawyer, since it was a fill-in judge in place of the original judge on the case so we had to bring him up-to-date, and giving the judge the “evidence” from the past couple of months, I was astounded by what was decided. I didn’t know it could go the way that it did since my ex wasn’t present.

I was awarded full custody with visitation only when arranged prior with me, with my permission and supervision only. Child support was raised to the maximum per week, which totals to over $1000 per month. And I was awarded all the back support my ex owes me for the past year, which is quite a lot.

Now, if I ever get any of the money that’s owed me is another story. :-/

I’m uber excited about the full custody thing, though! That was my main goal. Sure, the child support thing is going to help out a LOT, but I wanted my children in my care and mine alone. Joint custody obviously wasn’t working out between us and we needed something more steady, especially for the children. I just want the best for them and that’s all I’ve ever wanted. It’s not spite or hate for my ex, even though I do dislike him with a passion; it’s love for my children. I believe in father’s rights… when they deserve it. If he hadn’t done some unforgiveable things to the children, I would have more faith and trust in him. Until he can prove otherwise, though, this is how it will be.

I don’t know why my ex didn’t show up though. He knew about the trial that day. He’d been served a notice that he had to sign for which said what we were going to court about – custody, child support, and everything. He hasn’t tried to contact me or even replied to any of the times I’ve tried to contact him via phone or other modes of communication. And that is part of why I wanted full custody: because I think he’s just dropping out of my children’s lives completely. To make a point: we actually had to search to find his address as he’d moved without giving the courts, or myself (which, legally he should have done), any sort of notification. It only took a couple of days since there were multiple people searching, but the fact of the matter is that we actually had to search for it!

I don’t know, and I’m not sure if I care or not. I do know that despite my anxiety I do believe that I would have felt better if he had come because I believe in a fair trial and without him there to defend himself, then… gah, I don’t know. I guess I just feel that it was a bit unfair, even though I got everything I wanted. Is that weird?

Crazy, crazy, crazy

So there’s a bit going on now. Life is moving along, I’m happy to announce! ^_^

Unfortunately, that also means that my blog is going to be updating a bit slower for the next couple weeks. I’m going to try and update it every couple days, but there’s a lot going on right now and I’m not sure I’m going to be able to manage it. Plus I’m switching Internet providers because the one I have right now sucks.

My family and I have been in contact with each other a lot more in the past couple of days which actually surprises me. I’m glad, though. I miss talking to my family. I’m not always fond of them or how they treat me or my decisions, but they’re my family and I love them.

I think it’s all of the stress that’s been going around (and yes, I know it’s not a¬†contagion or sickness).¬†They’ve been calling to ask about my children and if they’re doing any better, if they’re still sick. I repeat the same thing over and over again: they’re fine and, no, they’re not sick anymore. It seems to placate them about that topic at least.

But there are other things. Specific things to each individual. I’ve talked to both of my aunts and my mother. Everything’s changing and something is going to explode. I caught my aunt in a lie to my mother the other night and I pointed it out to my mom. She wasn’t happy about being lied to, but I can’t blame her; who would be? It’s more than that, though. There’s more and more that’s building.

I don’t even know how to phrase it. It’s just there. Looming. Like a darkness, a shadow. A presence.

But things are happy now. They’re happy around me. It’s just… when I talk to everybody else I get this mixed feeling inside. There’s something else.

I don’t know. I sound crazy, don’t I?