Never Woulda Guessed

I’m excited about this. I have to post it.

I went to court earlier this week. I was so nervous. It was against my ex; I was suing him for full custody, back support, and to raise the child support that I’m supposed to be getting. I was afraid of the things he could say; even though I knew I had the advantage I was afraid he would lie about something. Or exaggerate. Anything. I was afraid. Nervous to a worrisome extent.

Then I got to the courthouse with my fiance and a couple friends, meeting my lawyer there 30 minutes before everything started. My lawyer and I discussed everything while my friends kept a look out for my ex, who hadn’t arrived yet. Occasionally they were asked questions too, but that wasn’t a big deal.

The big deal was that by the time court was due to start my ex had not shown up. We deduced that he wasn’t going to.

After vigorous questioning by my lawyer, since it was a fill-in judge in place of the original judge on the case so we had to bring him up-to-date, and giving the judge the “evidence” from the past couple of months, I was astounded by what was decided. I didn’t know it could go the way that it did since my ex wasn’t present.

I was awarded full custody with visitation only when arranged prior with me, with my permission and supervision only. Child support was raised to the maximum per week, which totals to over $1000 per month. And I was awarded all the back support my ex owes me for the past year, which is quite a lot.

Now, if I ever get any of the money that’s owed me is another story. :-/

I’m uber excited about the full custody thing, though! That was my main goal. Sure, the child support thing is going to help out a LOT, but I wanted my children in my care and mine alone. Joint custody obviously wasn’t working out between us and we needed something more steady, especially for the children. I just want the best for them and that’s all I’ve ever wanted. It’s not spite or hate for my ex, even though I do dislike him with a passion; it’s love for my children. I believe in father’s rights… when they deserve it. If he hadn’t done some unforgiveable things to the children, I would have more faith and trust in him. Until he can prove otherwise, though, this is how it will be.

I don’t know why my ex didn’t show up though. He knew about the trial that day. He’d been served a notice that he had to sign for which said what we were going to court about – custody, child support, and everything. He hasn’t tried to contact me or even replied to any of the times I’ve tried to contact him via phone or other modes of communication. And that is part of why I wanted full custody: because I think he’s just dropping out of my children’s lives completely. To make a point: we actually had to search to find his address as he’d moved without giving the courts, or myself (which, legally he should have done), any sort of notification. It only took a couple of days since there were multiple people searching, but the fact of the matter is that we actually had to search for it!

I don’t know, and I’m not sure if I care or not. I do know that despite my anxiety I do believe that I would have felt better if he had come because I believe in a fair trial and without him there to defend himself, then… gah, I don’t know. I guess I just feel that it was a bit unfair, even though I got everything I wanted. Is that weird?


Day 7, Week 1

Like the title says, today is Day 7.

Day 7 of what, you say? Why, today is Day 7 of my new diet & exercise regimen and I’m oh-so excited!

It’s sad, really. I’ve never made it this far into a diet or exercise regime before; I’m doubly proud for making it this far, which isn’t saying much. Buuuu~ut… before I say too much, I’m going to go through the week. 😉

A lot has happened this week. More than progressing on the diet and such. My fiance helped me finish moving out of my [old] apartment and I turned in my keys this past week! I think that’s an achievement, for sure. Before I turned in my keys we made sure everything was out of the apartment and cleaned it up a bit –  mopping, sweeping, and such. I told my previous landlady so, and also that there were a few nicks in the walls from my children and the blinds needed fixing, but that was all. She took it in stride and said whatever needed fixing she would take out of my deposit. Which is fine with me as long as I was able to get out of that hell-hole.

And I did! Yay!

I also had a meeting with the preschool teacher for my eldest child on… wait for it…. Halloween. It’s true! Anyway, though, I went to the school nearby to meet with her about my child transferring there and to fill out all the forms required. I was very impressed! The classroom is twice as big with less than half the amount of students at his last preschool; my child will be getting more individual and hands-on attention. I’m so very, very excited. He starts on Monday (tomorrow) and will be going to school every weekday in the mornings – a halfday, if you will. Hopefully he’ll be able to catch up from where he was behind.

And then, it brings us to today.

All week my fiance and I have been struggling through the first week of our diet and exercise. To be quite honest, we barely did any exercise, which probably isn’t very good, but it’s just the first week and the fact that we did any at all is good, right? We exercised about every other day. It was an honest effort. I have a lot to work on because I never worked any of my stomach muscles after my emergency c-section with my last child. (I do NOT reccommend a c-section to anyone unless absolutely neccessary.) Now my tummy muscle is beyond loose and I hate it; plus I have gained weight since I had my last child – about forty to fifty pounds more!

Anyway, after being sore the first couple of days from exercising, I started stretching every morning and I haven’t been sore since and that is fantastic. Overall, this week I’ve lost three (3) pounds and I’m closer to achieving my goal of being at a healthy weight! I really am very excited.

Today, though, is “cheat day” and so I’m pretty much eating my weight in whatever I want. I’ve had McDonald’s and Chinese food. I’ve had coffee with lots of creamer and sugar; two peanut butter and nutella sandwiches ; pumpkin ice cream with caramel and whipped cream. My personal goal for today? Eat what I’ve wanted to eat for the last week. Overall goal? Up my calorie intake so my body doesn’t adjust to the lower calorie count and I’m still able to lose weight.

I guess we’ll see after today how it goes!!