I think I can… I think I can….

So, my fiance and I finally decided to get on a diet and exercise regimen.  The final decision-maker for me was, surprisingly enough, not the fact that I’m going to be in my best friend’s wedding or that mine is less than a year away even though both are good motivators. No, the final push I needed was seeing myself naked in the new mirror after I got out of the shower. Oh yeah, the new mirror is situated directly across from the bath/shower so I didn’t really have a choice.

I was appalled. I was disgusted. I was, well, shocked. I look so much different than I did a year ago. One year ago I was forty pounds lighter and under 200 pounds. For my height, which is tall for a woman, it’s not terribly horrible, but I want to be able to not be self-conscious of how I look when I sit down. Or move. When I checked my BMI, it came up “obese”. I’ve never gotten that, and I hate that I finally crossed that line.

I hate how I look. I don’t want to end up even more obese. That was the deciding factor.

I want to be someone that I can be confident in how I look. I want to be someone who, when they’re older, my children won’t be embarrassed for their friends to see me. I want to be a confident, beautiful, happy young woman. I want people to say “You’ve had three kids? No way!”

I want to be able to feel good about myself again. Like I did in the spring and summer of 2012.

It’s going to work. It’s just a feeling I have. My fiance’s done it before and he lost 80 pounds. He’s since gained 20 lbs. of it back, but he wanted to lose more anyway, but the point is he knows what he’s doing. He’s doing it in a healthy fashion and, now, we have a “buddy” to do it with: someone to encourage us when we’re starting to lose our way who’s going through the same thing.

We can do this. We can.

I can.


More Than Just Blogging

Hey, all who read this! What’s up?

This is a friendly update to let you know:

Oh yeah, I write more things than what I write on this blog. Did I forget to mention that?

Of course, everybody who’s read the “About” section of my blog probably knows that already. Along with this blog I write poems, short stories, and am working on various novels and novellas. I do have two poems in print, and they won first and second prizes in widespread contests, but that was at least five years ago. It’s harder now, at least it seems like it.

I’m not big on posting my writings on the Internet, but I found a site that I’m willing to do so. Earlier in the month I posted the link in the upper right corner: deviantART is the name of the site.

But that’s not necessarily what I meant either.

Sure, that’s the majority of what I meant, but not the full story so to speak.

I thnk I’ve mentioned this before, but I when I write, I write with meaning. Sure, it doesn’t always seem so and I know for a fact that sometimes I rant, but can you honestly say that at some point in time you haven’t learned from someone else’s mistake? Or that you’ve never read something someone wrote and it just clicked with you, even though it was one of the most random things you’ve ever read?

That’s what I do.

I try to write about things I know; I will never write otherwise. To me, that’s like lying. Why would you write about something if it wasn’t dear to your heart or affected you in some way?

I’ve written about the measles; it was an informative article, sort of, but it also told you why I was writing it. I wrote that article because my son had contracted it because even though he’d been vaccinated. Did you know that now there’s articles going up about “anti-vaccination protests” and “parents for vaccines not speaking up”? It’s a contradiction, but a story for another post.

I’ve written about government programs and income problems; I’ve written about moving and renting houses. I’ve done before and after articles as I try to work out where I went wrong.

Can you tell me that if you were going through the same problems and saw the articles that it wouldn’t have helped you in some way?

It’s all in the way that you look at it.

Write. Read. Help. Inspire. Realize. Hope.

There’s more to writing than just words.

deviantART – KCmoonchild’s page