So, my fiance and I finally decided to get on a diet and exercise regimen. The final decision-maker for me was, surprisingly enough, not the fact that I’m going to be in my best friend’s wedding or that mine is less than a year away even though both are good motivators. No, the final push I needed was seeing myself naked in the new mirror after I got out of the shower. Oh yeah, the new mirror is situated directly across from the bath/shower so I didn’t really have a choice.
I was appalled. I was disgusted. I was, well, shocked. I look so much different than I did a year ago. One year ago I was forty pounds lighter and under 200 pounds. For my height, which is tall for a woman, it’s not terribly horrible, but I want to be able to not be self-conscious of how I look when I sit down. Or move. When I checked my BMI, it came up “obese”. I’ve never gotten that, and I hate that I finally crossed that line.
I hate how I look. I don’t want to end up even more obese. That was the deciding factor.
I want to be someone that I can be confident in how I look. I want to be someone who, when they’re older, my children won’t be embarrassed for their friends to see me. I want to be a confident, beautiful, happy young woman. I want people to say “You’ve had three kids? No way!”
I want to be able to feel good about myself again. Like I did in the spring and summer of 2012.
It’s going to work. It’s just a feeling I have. My fiance’s done it before and he lost 80 pounds. He’s since gained 20 lbs. of it back, but he wanted to lose more anyway, but the point is he knows what he’s doing. He’s doing it in a healthy fashion and, now, we have a “buddy” to do it with: someone to encourage us when we’re starting to lose our way who’s going through the same thing.
We can do this. We can.