Never Woulda Guessed

I’m excited about this. I have to post it.

I went to court earlier this week. I was so nervous. It was against my ex; I was suing him for full custody, back support, and to raise the child support that I’m supposed to be getting. I was afraid of the things he could say; even though I knew I had the advantage I was afraid he would lie about something. Or exaggerate. Anything. I was afraid. Nervous to a worrisome extent.

Then I got to the courthouse with my fiance and a couple friends, meeting my lawyer there 30 minutes before everything started. My lawyer and I discussed everything while my friends kept a look out for my ex, who hadn’t arrived yet. Occasionally they were asked questions too, but that wasn’t a big deal.

The big deal was that by the time court was due to start my ex had not shown up. We deduced that he wasn’t going to.

After vigorous questioning by my lawyer, since it was a fill-in judge in place of the original judge on the case so we had to bring him up-to-date, and giving the judge the “evidence” from the past couple of months, I was astounded by what was decided. I didn’t know it could go the way that it did since my ex wasn’t present.

I was awarded full custody with visitation only when arranged prior with me, with my permission and supervision only. Child support was raised to the maximum per week, which totals to over $1000 per month. And I was awarded all the back support my ex owes me for the past year, which is quite a lot.

Now, if I ever get any of the money that’s owed me is another story. :-/

I’m uber excited about the full custody thing, though! That was my main goal. Sure, the child support thing is going to help out a LOT, but I wanted my children in my care and mine alone. Joint custody obviously wasn’t working out between us and we needed something more steady, especially for the children. I just want the best for them and that’s all I’ve ever wanted. It’s not spite or hate for my ex, even though I do dislike him with a passion; it’s love for my children. I believe in father’s rights… when they deserve it. If he hadn’t done some unforgiveable things to the children, I would have more faith and trust in him. Until he can prove otherwise, though, this is how it will be.

I don’t know why my ex didn’t show up though. He knew about the trial that day. He’d been served a notice that he had to sign for which said what we were going to court about – custody, child support, and everything. He hasn’t tried to contact me or even replied to any of the times I’ve tried to contact him via phone or other modes of communication. And that is part of why I wanted full custody: because I think he’s just dropping out of my children’s lives completely. To make a point: we actually had to search to find his address as he’d moved without giving the courts, or myself (which, legally he should have done), any sort of notification. It only took a couple of days since there were multiple people searching, but the fact of the matter is that we actually had to search for it!

I don’t know, and I’m not sure if I care or not. I do know that despite my anxiety I do believe that I would have felt better if he had come because I believe in a fair trial and without him there to defend himself, then… gah, I don’t know. I guess I just feel that it was a bit unfair, even though I got everything I wanted. Is that weird?

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Ruined Before It Came

I’m really bad at this updating thing. Gah.

Anyway!

Somebody PLEASE remind me to kick my ex-husband’s ASS because he completely ruined any and all Valentine’s Days to come because of what he did on last year’s Valentine’s Day!!!

I asked my fiance if he wanted to do anything this year for V-Day next month, if he had to work that day, if he wanted me to get a babysitter for the kids and so on and he said he hadn’t really thought about it because everytime he thinks about Valentine’s he gets pissed off to the extreme because of what happened last year.

Oh yeah. What happened last year.

My ex had the kids for the weekend and my fiance and I went on a date a couple hours away – reservations, fancy dress, make-up, nails, heels, and all. And the whole time we were sitting at dinner? My ex was texting me: “when are you coming back?” “are you on your way back yet?” “will you please hurry up?” I got so pissed off that night and we ended up leaving early from our date. It cost, I came later to find out, over $200 for our meal. Like I said: super fancy.

Well, my ex-husband isn’t in the picture at all anymore and I told my fiance that. I’ve reiterated it quite a few times, actually, and said that my mom and stepfather are more than trustworthy enough to take care of the kids and won’t call and ask “when are you coming to get them?”, especially if they know what’s going on or if we schedule ahead of time. I think I’ve got him convinced a little bit, but I think it’s more of me hoping than anything actually happening. Gaaaaah.

I’m gonna hurt my ex-husband so bad.

Well, maybe not literally, but it feels SOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOD to “say it out loud”. 😉 Hehehe.

Here’s to hoping things get better!