Never Woulda Guessed

I’m excited about this. I have to post it.

I went to court earlier this week. I was so nervous. It was against my ex; I was suing him for full custody, back support, and to raise the child support that I’m supposed to be getting. I was afraid of the things he could say; even though I knew I had the advantage I was afraid he would lie about something. Or exaggerate. Anything. I was afraid. Nervous to a worrisome extent.

Then I got to the courthouse with my fiance and a couple friends, meeting my lawyer there 30 minutes before everything started. My lawyer and I discussed everything while my friends kept a look out for my ex, who hadn’t arrived yet. Occasionally they were asked questions too, but that wasn’t a big deal.

The big deal was that by the time court was due to start my ex had not shown up. We deduced that he wasn’t going to.

After vigorous questioning by my lawyer, since it was a fill-in judge in place of the original judge on the case so we had to bring him up-to-date, and giving the judge the “evidence” from the past couple of months, I was astounded by what was decided. I didn’t know it could go the way that it did since my ex wasn’t present.

I was awarded full custody with visitation only when arranged prior with me, with my permission and supervision only. Child support was raised to the maximum per week, which totals to over $1000 per month. And I was awarded all the back support my ex owes me for the past year, which is quite a lot.

Now, if I ever get any of the money that’s owed me is another story. :-/

I’m uber excited about the full custody thing, though! That was my main goal. Sure, the child support thing is going to help out a LOT, but I wanted my children in my care and mine alone. Joint custody obviously wasn’t working out between us and we needed something more steady, especially for the children. I just want the best for them and that’s all I’ve ever wanted. It’s not spite or hate for my ex, even though I do dislike him with a passion; it’s love for my children. I believe in father’s rights… when they deserve it. If he hadn’t done some unforgiveable things to the children, I would have more faith and trust in him. Until he can prove otherwise, though, this is how it will be.

I don’t know why my ex didn’t show up though. He knew about the trial that day. He’d been served a notice that he had to sign for which said what we were going to court about – custody, child support, and everything. He hasn’t tried to contact me or even replied to any of the times I’ve tried to contact him via phone or other modes of communication. And that is part of why I wanted full custody: because I think he’s just dropping out of my children’s lives completely. To make a point: we actually had to search to find his address as he’d moved without giving the courts, or myself (which, legally he should have done), any sort of notification. It only took a couple of days since there were multiple people searching, but the fact of the matter is that we actually had to search for it!

I don’t know, and I’m not sure if I care or not. I do know that despite my anxiety I do believe that I would have felt better if he had come because I believe in a fair trial and without him there to defend himself, then… gah, I don’t know. I guess I just feel that it was a bit unfair, even though I got everything I wanted. Is that weird?

Since Last Month!

Omg, it’s been so long since I’ve updated anything on here! I can’t blame it completely on being busy, but the majority… yeah, I have been. With the holidays just passing and my aunt moving in with my fiance and I, plus the extreme cold weather passing through, so everything’s been quite hectic.

Oh, and the wedding that I was in. That happened in between Christmas and New Year’s. Lovely, lovely.

So! Let’s start off, shall we? It seems we have quite a lot to cover. ­čśë

Christmas was different. Didn’t really know what was going on until about two days beforehand; it was really crazy. My stepdad got all angry because I told my mom to tell him that if he couldn’t accept the fact that she wanted to be with her family on Christmas then he didn’t have to come. He got p*ssed, there was some yelling involved, and he didn’t come. My mom and brothers did, though. It was much more fun of a day than I expected it to be.

My aunt helped cook Christmas dinner, as did my fiance. I made chicken and noodles. There was some squabble over use of the kitchen. There’s some sort of tension over the kitchen. My aunt’s always been the one in the kitchen and, since I’ve been with him, my fiance has always been the one in the kitchen – kind of a switch of perceived gender roles, which we have no objection to, by the way. It’s weird though. Every time my fiance just takes a step into the kitchen, in our own home, my aunt goes in there as well even if she has no reason to be in there. She’ll start talking to my fiance, offering advice (“why don’t you do this?” “why don’t you add that?” “I normally do such n’ such”) and it drives both me and my fiance bonkers, because I normally have to intercede in some way. Cause, y’see, we don’t have a larger kitchen so more than one person being in the kitchen at the same time, especially if the 2nd person has no reason of being in there, causes extreme problems. My fiance is to the point that he’d rather be at work, out of the house, just in general away from my aunt, than at home.

For example: on New Year’s Eve, he had to work the next morning, a 12-hour shift, and so when he got home that evening he brought snacks, champagne, and general stuff for a night in for the two of us. My aunt immediately got on his case: “Well I’ve got that” “You can use this instead” and it drove him absolutely crazy. He’d had a good day at work, an extremely good day at work, and – the way he told me – he didn’t want to come home and her voice be the first thing he hears cause it just ruined it for him.

We ended up going out that night. We ate, drank, stayed out and had some fun. We came home before it turned into 2014. The first thing we did when we came home was put the children to bed then locked ourselves in our bedroom, drank the champagne, ate chips and salsa, and watched movies on the TV we have in our room cause we’re awesome like that. LOL!

I just feel bad. My aunt’s supposed to be moving out and she’s going on living here two months. She was supposed to have moved out near a month ago. I love her, but I hope she doesn’t secretly hope to move in full-time with me. We just don’t have the space. She’s not even paying any sort of rent or bills while living here and she thinks that she’s entitled to everything! So yes, she’s starting to drive me nuts too. I love her, but just like when I was younger, I’m not sure how long I can stand living with her.

Changing topics: the wedding was absolutely beautiful. I had no idea, though, that churches hung the triquatra. I thought it was a Pagan symbol, so I’m thoroughly confused. The Methodist church my best friend got married in still had their Christmas decorations up and on the tree was several triquatras. If someone could explain that to me, I would greatly appreciate it. My fiance, who is well-versed in the Pagan religion, many religions in fact, had no answer.

The batchelorette party was the night before, but I’m very proud of myself as I did not get as sloshed as most people would have expected. I had lots of fun though. We held the party at the groom’s mother’s house, which may seem odd, but if you knew all of us… well, it’s really not that odd, to be quite honest. We played many games, drank till the sun came up, ate chips and dip, pranced around in nightgowns and watched baby videos. It was awesome.

Oh, and can’t forget the guy that hung out with us. One of the other bridesmaid’s, that I don’t really know, boyfriend; he even pranced around in a nightgown with us! It was awesome! Especially the part where he changed in front of us! Does that mean we had our own personal stripper??? LOL!

Though the craziest part about the time surrounding the wedding was the fact the majority of my time was spent with my fiance’s ex who happens to be a close friend of my best friend who was getting married. Said ex was driving me and my best friend around everywhere. It was freaky. Then, y’know, when my fiance showed up at the reception (because he had to work and wasn’t able to make it to the ceremony) she gave him the evil eye… and me, for that matter. Total evilness. She avoided both of us completely but sat herself in the perfect position so that all she had to do was look up and she’d be able to see us and, well, glare. Completely creeped me out. Gah.

Lemme tell ya though, the snow storm’s been fun. The polar vortex or whatever I’ve heard it been called. I’m totally snowed in. We have a total of around 12 inches. Every one on my facebook newsfeed was saying “oh, we’ll only get around 2-3 inches, they’ve said this’ll happen before and it didn’t”. Well hey, it happened. Dumb*ss. I kinda trust the weather channel. I’m not talking local weather channel; I’m talking┬ánational weather service. I get daily updates. Heck yeah. My oldest still isn’t back in school cause of the storm and I don’t expect the school to open until, at the earliest, next week. What’s sucky is that all of this means that school is going to go even further into June because on the norm, without the make-up snow days, school goes into June. Fun, fun, fun. :-/

But on the upside of everything, my fiance and I finally might have enough for our wedding in… duh dun duhn!… JUNE! Wish us luck! ­čÖé