WTF, Obamacare: Short, but Sweet

I don’t know much about Obamacare; I already have health insurance and so do all of my children. I’m thinking I need to look into it, though. Apparently making health insurance a requirement for everyone in the good ol’ U.S. of A. is costing everybody mucho money. Oh, but not just businesses. Education’s taking a cut too.

Especially the area for children with special needs.

The area I live in is taking a cut in education, cutting funds for the teachers and giving them less hours now because of Obamacare. I hate this. Part of the reason I moved to the area I did was because it had some of the best educational resources in my state.

I want to know what Obamacare has to do with cutting our education funds, especially for elementary aged students, and why isn’t the government funding it if it was supposed to “help the people”? I think we’re moving backward instead of forward.

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Ramble. Rant. Confusion. WTF?!

Have you ever felt like something was happening around you and you could feel it, but you weren’t sure what it was? I have; I do right now.

It’s odd. It’s like I can almost tell what it is, but when I get close to what it is, something throws me off and then I feel like I’m just standing there, confused. It’s horrible. At times I feel like it has something to do with my ex-husband and the pending court case. I think that he’s planning something and that everything I see or hear about him is just some small piece of a bigger puzzle that he’s putting together; almost like he’s trying to get me to believe certain things with lies and manipulation through other people, by making me too comfortable with how things are going in my life now and then everything will just… explode…. around me.

I know I sound paranoid, but I like I said before, after I start thinking like that and “putting my ideas together” so to speak, something throws me off.

Then I start thinking about moving and renting places. About how my fiance said the other night that he’s getting fed up with people not believing that we have the money or judging us on the fact that he’s a full-time student and not taking his student-loan money as if they’ve never dealt with college students before even though we live in a college area. He said that if we didn’t get this place, or a place in general soon, then he was just going to move to a different place that was cheaper (different from the one he has) that allows his dog and is a one-bedroom.

I hate it because I feel like the world is turning against me. Against me and my children. Against me and my fiance.

And then I feel even worse because I feel like my family just hates me because they never talk to me even though I try to make efforts with them. My mother and my uncle try the best that they can, though they have even better excuses for not being able to than the rest.

The family I’m talking about lives excruciatingly close and only talks to people they feel like, it seems, and favor certain people (aka: certain family members), are major hypocrites and like to talk behind peoples back, exaggerate, and/or lie. I know this, but then again, I don’t. I hate it because I love my family and I don’t want to dislike my family, but it seems like they don’t care about me anyway.

I told one of my family members today that there’s a probability of me moving a decent amount away. She looked at me like I was crazy, like she didn’t expect me to ever do something like that. Seriously? What’s keeping me where I am? Family? I can come visit. Friends? What friends? I have no life. I would have more of a life where I’m hoping to move (though I will say that I’m not too hopeful, unfortunately, so yeah).

My life is just crazy, hectic and out of control. I don’t know what’s happening and yet I know exactly what’s going on. It’s a chaotic mess that, ironically, I know where everything’s at.

I’m too young for a mid-life crisis. Gah. :-/

WTF?

This isn’t going to be very long and hopefully nobody will hate me for what I’m about to say.

I get on facebook daily. Multiple times daily. And I’m constantly seeing pictures of the children (and, occasionally, adults) that were killed in the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting on December 14.

All I have to say is this: let them rest in peace.

I’m a mother of three and it tears me to bits every time I see one of the small, innocent faces that died. I instantly vision in my head the child whose picture was posted on facebook with their eyes wide open in shock and pain looking down at a bloody bullet hole in his/her chest.

It reminds me of my children. And I cry. I just sit there and ball my freaking eyes out.

And the picture, itself? The ones I normally see on facebook? They normally have writing above them that say something similar to “Like = respect, Ignore = not human”.

What the FUCK, people?! What. The. FUCK?!

So I can sit there and ball my fucking eyes out because an innocent child is murdered for no damned reason other than a fucking crazy person went on a murderous rampage at the school his mother taught at AFTER killing her at her home?! OH! And I cried my eyes out because I pictured said child as my OWN child?! I’m sorry! I didn’t know not liking a facebook picture of a child that isn’t my own made me inhumane, but if I cry my eyes out because I care about those children – OH! and my own?! – you don’t give a shit?! I’m still a fucking inhumane bitch?

WHAT THE FUCK, PEOPLE?!?!

I don’t think the pictures should be passed around at all. I am, surely, not the only person who pictures those children as their own when they see the children of the Sandy Hook shooting that are being passed around facebook.

In fact, I wonder how the parents of said children feel. I wonder how they feel about their children being advertised all over facebook. (I wouldn’t like it, I know that.) Sure, to a point they’re getting sympathy, but I don’t think it’s the right way to go about it.

If people really cared they’d do something about it. If all they’re doing is liking a facebook post to show that they “respect” everybody who has to directly deal with the Sandy Hook shooting, and to make sure that they aren’t labeled as “not human”, well, I feel sorry for them then, and they probably really don’t care that much at all.

It’s physical actions, not meaningless words or pictures on a computer, that count.

Even I know that my blog post right here isn’t going to do anything, but it makes me feel better and gets things off of my chest. I’m just a 22-year-old mom of three hoping that I never have to experience what those parents in Connecticut did, and my heart and prayers go out to them. That’s as much as I can do.