I’m worried now. Today is Day 38 of my menstrual cycle and I still haven’t started my period. I should be thrilled, right? Because, y’know, that’s the biggest & most obvious sign of pregnancy and my fiance & I have been trying, right? I’ve been saying that I’ve felt preggers, right? Nausea, peeing so much it’s ridiculous, sore breasts…. I could go on and on and on, but it’s not worth it.
Apparently I’m not pregnant.
The past two days, including today, I’ve taken multiple home pregnancy tests (HPT) of different brands & sensitivities and they all said the same thing: not pregnant. So I’m left to wonder: why the heck have I not started my monthly yet? Seriously, I’m freaking out now. I’m never this late, if anything, I start early – always between Days 26 & 30, but never more than.
If you’re one of the people that are thinking “oh, you probably just miscalulated” or “you just started trying to conceive, you don’t know your monthly that well”… let me tell you this: I’ve been keeping track of my cycle for the past year because I switched off of a hormonal birth control to a non-hormonal one and my OB/GYN wanted me to track it to make sure I went back to normal, along with any possible side effects. I just got in the habit and never stopped. My normal is every 29-30 days.
And, no, I don’t care if I’m oversharing right now. I’m kind of freaking out. Besides, you don’t know me face-to-face, so it’s not like it’ll be awkward when we sit down to have lunch or coffee together and you just start staring at me and inside you’re thinking “OMG, I know when she has her period”.
Because, yeah. That would be slightly awkward. ^.^;;
But anyway. I just don’t understand it. Minimum 10 HPT with negative results, and don’t forget the pregnancy symptoms too. My fiance sure hasn’t. And I’m a week late!!!
So now what? Am I preggers and I just happen to have a substantially low hormone count? I’m so, so lost. I’ve never had reproductive problems before and I really want this baby with my fiance. I love the children I have now – love them so much it hurts – but I want another one, especially with this man. And just the idea that something might be wrong with my reproductive system scares me.
I’ve done tons and tons of research online and other than being preggers, the next thing that could be delaying my period is Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), which is slightly hard to explain, but it has something to do with the ovaries and the eggs and insulin and being at a higher risk for diabetes (or other insulin disorders), which I am. So I’m actually really freaking out now, because I don’t want to be infertile. I want to have this baby with my fiance. I love him. I love this baby even though I may or may not (more likely) be pregnant right now.
I’m just freaking out.
I will say that I made an appointment next Wednesday with my OB/GYN to try and see what’s going on. By then I’ll be two weeks late IF my monthly still hasn’t come ’round. Hopefully I’ll get some sort of mental/emotional relief soon cause this is driving me crazy!