We’ve Decided

So these past few days, almost a week, my fiance and I have been discussing the possibility of trying for a baby together. Yes, we know that there’s already three toddlers but come September all three of them are going to be in school. And we talked some more. I wanted to know what he thought, wholeheartedly, about the topic.

And I found out.

Once again, my fiance and I were talking about it as we were walking through Kroger’s. I don’t know why we have such good conversations while we’re there; it’s slightly odd. Anyway, I brought the topic up subtly and we just, well, talked. I told him that I wasn’t going to ask to get my birth control stopped until we both decided we wanted a baby together, because it wasn’t just my decision and I wasn’t going to force him into it.

He replied something along the lines of: “I know we said we were going to wait till we’re ready. But we’re never ready financially, and when we are, we’re not ready in some other area. Something will always stop us and then it’s too late – the time will have gotten away from us and I’m not getting any younger. I’m not even sure if I can have children, and to be honest, I never saw myself having children until now… and now I want them.”

I was so touched by what he said; I really was. I didn’t think he would respond like he had. I told him that I had no doubt that he’d be able to conceive, and with me being “fertile Myrtle” as my friends so nicely dubbed me, then we shouldn’t have any problems.

And then I told him something I had kept to myself because I didn’t want to scare him way. I told my fiance that there have been several months in the past when I had thought, moreso hoped, that I was pregnant and didn’t say anything because I knew the chances were slim (less than 1%) with my birth control, but still I hoped because I wanted a baby with him. Not to tie him to me, no. And I told him that.

I think my fiance and I have made a big step today. I think we’re ready for anything.

We’ve finally decided to try for a baby.

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